I hate that my mother raised me with such hate and anger towards the world. It’s caused so much problems for me. I can’t see the good in any situation and it’s so fucking frustrating.

Maybe it’s because I let her get away with calling me names or maybe it’s because I’ve come to believing them.

My dad, he has and always had such confidence and faith and hope in me that it made me resent him. He told me to see the positive in things and I just blew it off as him being weird. He’s found the good in life. He has faith in things he can’t see or prove and it’s amazing to me.

I find it hard for me to change. I know I need to otherwise it’ll just continue to chip away at relationships I have with people I care for. It’ll eat away at the little self confidence I have left.

I believe in karma.

I believe that I’m a good person.

When will good stuff start happening to me?